My Personality Test…

My Personality

Neuroticism
99
Extraversion
6
Openness to Experience
13
Agreeableness
1
Conscientiousness
6

You feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated, however you tend to lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. You are not prone to spells of energetic high spirits. You are not interested in the arts and do not display aesthetic sensitivity. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don’t often talk yourself up much, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

Still with the anxiety…

Well I felt like posting, so here I go.

I booked two trips to Vegas. I’m heading there April 28 to May 2 and staying at the Tropicana. And then I’m heading down again July 31 to August 4 and staying at the Mirage.

School is crazy right now, tons of stuff due in the next couple of weeks, and then final exams…

I’m not sleeping too well lately, I still have a lot of anxiety over cancer coming back… I have my next surveillance check up on April 3. I’m still worried because the statistics say that I have a probability of relapse somewhere between 30-50% and if it were to happen it would occur within the next two years, most likely within 6 months. So, those numbers are the root cause of my anxiety and sleep difficulties. You try sleeping while worrying that a headache, back ache, or any other changes in my body are due to cancer growing and spreading inside of me…

In other news, I did a firearms safety course the other week. I’m just waiting on my possesion and acquistion license.
Today I bought a breathalyzer on eBay, which should be interesting when it arrives.

And I actually, finally, unpacked some boxes today…

Surveillance…

So, after meeting with my oncologist today I found out I’m getting the surveillance option.

Basically once a month I will be getting blood tests to check my tumor markers, every second month I will be getting a chest x-ray to ensure my lungs stay tumor-free, and every third month I will undergo the not-so-fun CT scan to make sure my lymph nodes stay normal size.

Although it will be a pain in the ass to have to go around and get these tests done and then go to the Cancer Centre every month, it seems like less of a pain than chemotherapy or lymph node surgery.

I thought my anxiety would be much better right now, but it’s only marginally better. I think after I see the results of my first blood test I will start to feel more optimistic about everything.

Also, I was checking and all of last year there were a total of 99 cases of testicular cancer in BC. I mean more people probably won some type of decent sized prize in the lottery than got testicular cancer. WTF?

Oh well, life goes on….

Cancer sucks…

Well, I haven’t done a real update in a while, but this time it’s not because my life is boring…

So on Friday February 1 I go to the Doctor because I had noticed a small lump on my testicle a couple of weeks early, I didn’t really think that much about it other than I should get it checked out. My appointment with the Doctor is first thing in the morning, he takes a look at it and says I need to go see a specialist that same day. I was working that day so I have to leave work and go to this specialist. He says that I need to get an ultrasound as soon as possible and gives me 50/50 odds that it will have to come out. Now right after hearing that I have to go back to work, which as you can imagine was more than a little difficult…

Monday morning rolls around and I go into the hospital for an ultrasound. Now this is very uncomfortable for me. I have this female technician handling my boys checking them for solid masses. She checks the left one (non-lump one) first and keeps saying things like “that looks good” and “that’s fine”. She then starts to check the right one and gets oddly quiet. I know something is seriously wrong at this point. She finishes up and says I can go and that I will hear from my doctor in about two days.

I make the drive home and make it up to my bedroom and I get a phone call from my doctor. The radiologist had called him right after I left. I go into his office and he basically tells me it’s gotta come out. They give me some forms and I go back to the hospital for the second time that day and get a chest x-ray as well as give them some of my blood to take a look at. Thursday I’m going in for surgery.

It all happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to process everything. Before I knew it thursday came and into the hospital I go. They take out one of my little friends and send me home that night. I now have a rocking scar right below my waist where they cut me open to take out my boy. Of course I have to start moving on sunday, so I have a pretty chaotic week ahead of me.

Tuesday I have to go back to the hospital to get a CT scan. They make me drink three glasses of water with some type of contrast dye in it, hook me up to an IV and shoot more dye through my veins and run me back and forth through a machine to scan my insides. By the way, when they shoot the dye through your veins it’s warm and you feel like you peed your pants.

The next tuesday (Feb. 19) I go back to the doctor and he tells me that my x-ray, blood tests, and CT scans didn’t show anything but he hasn’t gotten the pathology report back from the hospital that would say exactly what was in my testicle that they took out. I go to school and get a phone call from him a few hours later. He tells me that it was cancer, and that it was an embryonal carcinoma and that I will have to follow up with the BC Cancer Agency for any further treatment.

Yesterday I finally got my appointment with the BC Cancer Agency. So March 5 I will finally have some idea what will happen next with me. The anxiety over this is worse than anything else…

If you want to know a little more, the BC Cancer Agency web page has some information on testicular cancer here:
http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/PPI/TypesofCancer/Testes/default.htm

Moving…

So it appears I have finally sold my townhouse today, although it’s not final until next Saturday. It’s nice to be done with the whole selling process, but it opened up a whole bunch of new problems…

The closing date is February 14, right in the middle of the month, which makes it difficult for me to find something to rent. And because the sale isn’t final until February 2, even if I could find something that was available for the 1st, it would be a gamble for me to pay the first months rent and deposit incase the sale fell apart.

And then there’s Lucie. Unless I can find a place to rent that is ok with a cat, I will have no choice but to put her down… I couldn’t give her away, she is so attached to me it would be unbelievably cruel (and she starts to pee on things if I’m not around). I’ve had her for 10 years, and I have to face the reality that this may be the end. I don’t know what to do…